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同学好：
请参考——
It was Thanksgiving yesterday. 描述过去的事情用一般过去时。这个语序更常见些。
My parents like to have Thanksgiving very much. very much “很，非常”。
This is their favorite festival in a year. “某人最喜欢的…”用sb.‘s favorite +名词。
Every year, mom and dad give me some money and ask me to buy a big pumpkin from the store. 适当调整语序；ask sb. to do 更合适；留意冠词。
They make pumpkin pies with the pumpkin, and everyone in the family like to eat them because they really are delicious. 结合语境，这里pie 应该是复数；连词漏掉了；for 表示补充说明的原因，这里用because 更准确。

I arrived at the store, but it was closed. arrive 是不及物动词，后面需要补充介词再跟宾语。
A man was standing outside the store, so I went up to him and asked,’Hello, Sir![/b] why Is the shop closed today?’ 两个分别独立完整的句子在没有连词的情况下，不能写进一个句号；留意简洁和大小写。
The man looked at me and said,’ Because we don’t  have power today, the store has to be closed. Sorry about this.’ 留意大小写；一般不说Very sorry。
I asked him again,’ Are there other stores that sell pumpkins? I want to buy one.’
结合语境，这里store 应该是复数，be 用are；pumpkin 表示一类事物，用复数。
The man said,’ I am so sorry. I don’t know other stores.’ 有上下文，留意简洁。
The store was closed, and I felt very sad. 留意添加连词。
Because of this, my family wouldn’t have pumpkin pies. 描述过去将不能，用wouldn't。
It was three o’clock at that time and my family would have dinner at six o’clock so I was in a hurry. 留意添加连词。
There were three hours left for me to find the pumpkin. 这里用there be 句型，表示”有“。
I started to look for it around the city. in 换成around，以符合原意。
After walking for about an hour, I looked around and found I lost my way. 适当变换句型。
I didn’t know where I was, so I became more and more worried. 注意简洁；more and more ”越来越“。
I kept walking for about another hour.  ThenI found I was not in the city any more. kept doing ”一直做某事“；避免逐字逐句翻译。
It got darker and darker, and I felt more and more scared. ”比较级 and 比较级“ 表示”越来越…“。
Suddenly, I saw something in front of me. 原句逻辑不通，避免逐字翻译，有的中文讲得通但不符合英文逻辑。
I went up to have a look. 这里不确定是单数，不宜用it；强调动词用look。
Wow, three pumpkins! it was 和后面的pumpkins 数不一致，直接写three pumpkins 就可以。
They grew from the ground and hid in the forest. 句意忠于原文。
I ran up to them , lifted them up, picked them and put them into my bag. 留意简洁；第一次提到bag，写明确，不宜用the 特指。
I ran back to the city. Finally, I found a bus and bought a ticket with the money my mom gave me for the pumpkin. back to +地点；留意语序，和句意。
When I got home,my mother asked me,’ Why did it take you so long?’ 逻辑是”为什么买南瓜花了你这么长时间？“用why 提问，take 表示”花费“。
After I told her my experience, we laughed. 留意用代词。

祝学习愉快！